I'm a changed woman and our next book!

Well, it's true. I'm a changed woman. I may consider buying and living on a houseboat! Who needs to own land? There are no property taxes- the river is beyond relaxing and I'm sure I could deck out (no pun intended) a really beautiful houseboat! Really! That's how wonderful last night's meeting was. We cruised up and down the Mississippi River and drank wine and ate cheese and Mint Crisp M&M's! We talked for hours and I didn't even feel time pass. I keep thinking that this book club is the greatest thing I could have ever done for myself! I've connected with these women via a shared love of books and the relationships we're fostering are beautiful. To these women, thank you in advance for the many books and conversations we will share. I'm already a better person for being amongst you amazing people.

Last night, we discussed Eat, Pray, Love at length but not specifically. Our conversation meandered through personal revelations of our faith journeys and of our life stories. We all had very definite opinions about the book (as you can see from Julie's post and another woman in our group, some REALLY didn't like the book). Others of us loved it and gleaned much from her experience.

I must admit, when I listened to two of our members state why they didn't like the book, it really made me clarify in my own mind, why I did like it so much. I didn't assume in any way that her "experience" was a prescription for "self-discovery" or for theological pursuit. I never saw her travels as privileged because I didn't see them as mandatory. Obviously she had the funding to travel (she was hired to write this book about her travels and therefore advanced $25,000.00). Sure, it would be nice to zip off to Italy and "bum around" eating everything in sight but that would not be my path to self discovery. Mine may happen in my backyard or in my living room or at church or all of the above! We read some of the feedback she gave about her story in an interview and she said just that. This is taken from her website in response to the question "How can I have an experience like yours when I'm busy and don't have the funding etc. (paraphrased by me)

"The last thing I ever want to become is the Poster Child for “Everyone Must Leave Their Husband And Move To India In Order To Find God.” My path is hardly a universal prescription. It was my path – that is all it ever was. I drew up my journey as a personal prescription for solving my life. Transformative journeys come in many forms, though, and often happen without people ever leaving home. Divinity is available everywhere, at all times. People find their way to God during wars, in the middle of traffic jams and in small prison cells. (Though I would submit it's easier for a prisoner to find time to meditate in a jail cell than it is for many of my working-mom friends with young children to create time for contemplation.) The first question you can begin to ask yourself, though, is: “Where can I find a small corner of stillness?” Because that’s where it all begins and ends. God resides in these pockets of silence. So where in your day, where in your home, where in your mind, is there some opportunity for a moment of silence? Or maybe even a few moments, during which you can start asking the questions you need to ask in order to find what you need to learn. Can you find the time to get out of your own way and try to step into your own light? As a dear friend of mine put it: “To change your life, the important thing is not necessarily to travel; the important thing is to SHIFT.”"

I did really resonate with what Julie posted about how Gilbert seemed to create a very 'comprehendible' God. I definitely don't want God to be this great entity that I can easily fit in my pocket, however, I do believe God speaks to us in the most understandable ways and experiences for us personally. I believe He created us all as individuals with different modes of communication, and that we truly commune with God when we are most true to our "natures". I connected to Gilbert's description of her encounters with God: the deep stillness, the electric presence, the profound peace. I think I encountered this book with a great spirit of openness and because of that, gleaned similar experiences in very different Theological situations. Does that make any sense?

Also, the idea of Gilbert being self-indulgent I just didn't really care about. I didn't expect her to be anything other than that. The book was about her, her journey, her experiences, her troubles. I knew that she pursued pure pleasure through food in Italy so I walked that high fat, deeply self-serving portion of her journey without expectation of self-deprecation or sacrifice. I think this journey was necessary for her. She seemed to be enmeshed in the most unhealthy way with every man in her life. She had no loyalty to herself and therefore no loyalty to what God could do through her and in her. When asked if she thought that taking a year off to travel was a selfish act, Gilbert responded:

"What is it about the American obsession with productivity and responsibility that makes it so difficult for us to allow ourselves a little time to solve the puzzle of our own lives, before it’s too late? That said, yes – I did worry a great deal about selfishness. But after three years of despair and depression, I had come to believe that living my life in a state of constant misery was actually a pretty selfish act. Who would be served by a lifetime of my sorrow? How would that enrich the world? Going off for a year and creating a journey to pull myself back together, to rediscover joy, to face down my failings and rebuild my existence, was not only an important thing for my life, but ultimately for the lives of everyone around me. And it’s not just my family and friends who are better off now that I am happy; it’s everyone I encounter. Because the reality is that we human beings are constantly leaking our dispositions upon each other. When I was in such a dark state, everyone I passed on the street had to walk through the shadow of my darkness, whether they knew me or not. I remember once, during my divorce, crying uncontrollably on the subway in New York City. When I look back on that crying young woman, I feel great compassion for what she was going through. But I can also feel pity now, in retrospect, for those poor, weary New York commuters, who had to sit there after their own long days at work, watching this sobbing stranger. I didn’t want to be that person anymore. Saving my own life (through therapy, medication, prayer and – most of all -- travel) was something I did for my own benefit, yes, but I can’t help but think that it was ultimately also a little bit of a community service." Ha ha... found that last bit kind of funny... I wouldn't have wanted to walk through her dark cloud...

My grandmother said about this book, "Why should anyone "find themselves"? What a self indulgent thing to do! Who wants to read about their feelings?!" I, for one, do. I, created by God to feel everything deeply (both a blessing sometimes and a bit of a curse-especially at certain times of the month :) love to hear of the heart songs of others. I think in the search for yourself, you find the most true part of God. When you deny God's creation, you deny God. The acceptance of my weaknesses, my faults, my shortcomings only increase the capacity for transformation and redemption. Do I think she's the best writer from a literary perspective? No of course not. Do I think she is honest and forthright in her words and experiences? Yes and I'm sure she had no idea that her "journey" would turn out as fairy-tale esque as it did. I viewed this book as a bit of an escape and I don't regret that at all.

This post is a bit sporadic but I didn't sleep well last night, so I'm a little loopy! Anyway, any further conversation, please post! It still remains one of my favorites (for now, anyway) and I will take with me the lessons of silence (a difficult one for me) and practice (another hard one...) and persistence (yep, difficult) from her experience. And, I don't see any of those as bad character qualities or behaviors to embrace.

The next book to read is by Barbara Kingsolver called "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle". It's another non-fiction account but this time about a family who chooses to live off of meat and produce that they know the origins of and can trace back to the community they reside and invest in. I've only read one Kingsolver book, The Poisonwood Bible, and it almost killed me- but that's another story... I'm really looking forward to tackling this one. Happy Reading... Keep posting...

Teaser Questions

Hello! Here are some teaser questions about Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (our book for the next club meeting tomorrow night.) For those of you reading along from afar, our next meeting will be on a houseboat on the Mississippi! How fun will that be?! So, anyway, send your questions, thoughts, responses to me via post and I'll take them along with me tomorrow. Here are the questions from the Penguin Reading Guide.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Gilbert writes that “the appreciation of pleasure can be the anchor of humanity,” making the argument that America is “an entertainment-seeking nation, not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one.” Is this a fair assessment?

2. After imagining a petition to God for divorce, an exhausted Gilbert answers her phone to news that her husband has finally signed. During a moment of quietude before a Roman fountain, she opens her Louise Glück collection to a verse about a fountain, one reminiscent of the Balinese medicine man’s drawing. After struggling to master a 182-verse daily prayer, she succeeds by focusing on her nephew, who suddenly is free from nightmares. Do these incidents of fortuitous timing signal fate? Cosmic unity? Coincidence?

3. Gilbert hashes out internal debates in a notebook, a place where she can argue with her inner demons and remind herself about the constancy of self-love. When an inner monologue becomes a literal conversation between a divided self, is this a sign of last resort or of self-reliance?

4. When Gilbert finally returns to Bali and seeks out the medicine man who foretold her return to study with him, he doesn’t recognize her. Despite her despair, she persists in her attempts to spark his memory, eventually succeeding. How much of the success of Gilbert’s journey do you attribute to persistence?

5. Prayer and meditation are both things that can be learned and, importantly, improved. In India, Gilbert learns a stoic, ascetic meditation technique. In Bali, she learns an approach based on smiling. Do you think the two can be synergistic? Or is Ketut Liyer right when he describes them as “same-same”?

6. Gender roles come up repeatedly in Eat, Pray, Love, be it macho Italian men eating cream puffs after a home team’s soccer loss, or a young Indian’s disdain for the marriage she will be expected to embark upon at age eighteen, or the Balinese healer’s sly approach to male impotence in a society where women are assumed responsible for their childlessness. How relevant is Gilbert’s gender?

7. In what ways is spiritual success similar to other forms of success? How is it different? Can they be so fundamentally different that they’re not comparable?

8. Do you think people are more open to new experiences when they travel? And why?

9. Abstinence in Italy seems extreme, but necessary, for a woman who has repeatedly moved from one man’s arms to another’s. After all, it’s only after Gilbert has found herself that she can share herself fully in love. What does this say about her earlier relationships?

10. Gilbert mentions her ease at making friends, regardless of where she is. At one point at the ashram, she realizes that she is too sociable and decides to embark on a period of silence, to become the Quiet Girl in the Back of the Temple. It is just after making this decision that she is assigned the role of ashram key hostess. What does this say about honing one’s nature rather than trying to escape it? Do you think perceived faults can be transformed into strengths rather than merely repressed?

11. Sitting in an outdoor café in Rome, Gilbert’s friend declares that every city—and every person—has a word. Rome’s is “sex,” the Vatican’s “power”; Gilbert declares New York’s to be “achieve,” but only later stumbles upon her own word, antevasin, Sanskrit for “one who lives at the border.” What is your word? Is it possible to choose a word that retains its truth for a lifetime?

Deep and really intriguing, eh? Looking forward to hearing what you have to say!